Thursday, November 1, 2012

{13.1 Thursdays} Running as Therapy


Welcome back to my journey to 13.1 miles… the countdown has begun.  We’re now T minus ten days til the Rock n Roll Half Marathon!

Today’s post isn’t going to be quite as technical as past posts, with details about my training and gear, etc., but rather a post that talks about what running can do for your psyche, your mind, your soul.

Today is the twelfth anniversary of my mom’s death; to say my heart is heavy is certainly an understatement.  And while I feel the void of this loss many times throughout the year, the anniversary date always gets to me.  Memories of that day rise up like a phoenix from the ashes to remind me once again of the pain of her slipping away.  I know many of you are thinking… geez.  It’s been twelve years.  Isn’t it time to get over it?

No, it’s not.

Losing my mom is something I’ll never get over.

Living through this altered the timeline of my life and changed my reality.  So no, I can’t get over it because it changed the very core of my being.

And today as I drove home from work, crying as I sang along with a sad song and feeling the lump form in my throat… I knew what I needed: a good run.

So I ran…

and ran…

and ran… all the while thinking of the many memories I have of my mom, and then when my legs could carry me no further and my mind was clear, I stopped.

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

Tears dried… lump in throat gone…

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

One step, one mile, one day, one year at a time.

1 comment:

  1. I think it's perfectly normal that you would still grieve her loss 12 years later. I haven't lost a parent, but my mother-in-law passed away 16 years ago. I still grieve for her, and she wasn't a part of my life for nearly as long as your dear mom was a part of yours. I'm glad you were able to go for a run that day. It's amazing how much something like that can help.


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